WHEN ARE YOU HAPPY?

In September 2014, i attended a very interesting one week workshop (Yes! +) covering meditation and yoga at Veer Narmad South Gujarat University (India) - Department of Human Resources Development. It was organised by one of my good friends and classmate Honey Goklani and authorized by the able Leadership of the Department. She personally invited and convinced me to attend though I was sceptical about it, amazingly I attended and benefited a lot. 

One important question which the Trainer (from the Art of Living) asked was. “When are you going to be happy”. While, I heard a lot of interesting responses such as:

◈ When I complete my master’s degree
◈ When I get a job as HR manager
◈ When I get married
◈ When I build a house for my parents
◈ When I travel to my dream country
◈ When I buy my dream car

These were among other nice responses from the participants and I also answered in the similar way and I remember saying, “When I become Director of Human Resources”. After hearing all interesting responses and laughter, a follow up question was asked, how many days/weeks, /months /years will your get to that place of becoming a manger, buying your dream car, getting married or even completing your studies? Believe me; all the answers were not even within a week’s time but mostly years from that time. This might sound familiar to others, however,

◈ Do you have to wait for 1 or 2 years to become happy?
◈ Do you really have to wait to be promoted and get your dream job to become happy?
◈ Do you have to wait for Mr Right or Dream Girl to become happy?
◈ Do you wait for your dream car to become happy?

How do you define Happiness?

The Merriam Webster Dictionary says happiness can be “a state of well-being and contentment” or a pleasurable or satisfying experience”.  The ancient Greeks defined happiness as: “Happiness is the joy that we feel when we’re striving after our potential”. Aristotle said: “Happiness is a state of activity”. Others define it differently, however, does someone’s definition of happiness be your definition? Hell no, your personal definition of happiness has more to do with your values and personality than a description opined by some philosopher or author. Only you have the absolute rights to define what happiness means for you.

Happiness is personal and not what someone has prescribed for you. For me, happiness has do more with what you are passionate about and love doing. Just because studies show that marriage is more important to well-being than career, doesn’t mean that you will be happy or happier when you get married. Just because having a certain brand of car or phone is related to prestige does not mean you will be happier with it, probably not going to give you happiness. I feel happiness is something to be enjoyed right now not years from now. Don’t wait for that big dream, that big job, that dream car, that relationship, be happy and always continue looking for ways to grow, to know yourself better and enjoy the journey to your dreams. If helping people makes you happy, go for it, if singing and dancing makes you happy, keep singing and dancing, if writing, researching makes you happy, don’t stop yourself, if travelling makes you happy, don’t worry about others with their respected opinions.

Thomas Jefferson said, “It is neither wealth nor splendour; but tranquillity and occupation which give you happiness”. He is right in his definition because happiness is a subjective emotion. Most people make happiness conditional like indicated from the responses above. Is your happiness always contingent on something? do you always tell yourself, “I will be happy...when I get this or that”. Unequivocally, dreaming, working hard and smart is encourageable but it should not be at the expense of enjoying the present. Learn to appreciate the things that you enjoy and their positive impact on your life today. By the way, even if you happy with your current job or not happy with it, there is nothing to stop you from building upon happiness. There is no reason why your current contentment should restrict your ambition.

Take time to define what happiness means to you and then do the things that makes you happy. However, don’t violate others happiness in your pursuits.

CONFIDENCE VS OVERCONFIDENCE BAROMETER

Few days ago, I was chatting with a friend regarding positivity, negativity, confidence and overconfidence. She made a statement which spurred my apatite for that chat when she said, "some people are overconfident ", and I immediately asked for more details of how she distinguished confidence from overconfidence. She indicated that, one close person who everyone was thinking would pass certain examinations disappointed them because that person failed lamentably due to lack of preparation. Prior to the examinations, the person was always reminded and adviced to study but yielded not and was always saying that he knew it and would pass. However, results which always shows, proved that he didn't study and failed, therefore my friend attributed this to his overconfidence in himself without working hard for it.

Overconfidence has many faces some of them includes :

• showing off,
• failing to take valid advice
• Pride
• Arrogance
• Know it all attitude
• Boastful
• Pompous

 

• Ingratitude
• Ignorance
• Judgemental
• Mocking others 
• Always Seeking validation or approvals from others 
• Loud and noisy
• Disrespectful behaviour 
• Don't like to be criticised

On the other side of this is confidence which includes :

• Humility
• Knowledgeable and always learning
• Authentic and real 
• Attentive and sensitivity to others
• Calm and relaxed
• Good listeners
• Accept objective criticisms
• Validation comes from within
• Admit their weaknesses and ask for help

Confidence is believing in your skills, abilities and knowledge with the right attitude. It grows with time through investing in your self, learning, reading relevant books, watching relevant videos, seeking guidance from mentors, coaches and those we look up to. Overconfidence can be checked and managed and it takes humility to listen and take proper counsel, it's never too late to uninstall the overconfidence software before it corrupts you completely. 

Overconfidence may ruin your career and make your life miserable therefore check yourself and guide against such. However, others maybe be with the view that overconfidence is good for risk taking , but remember the propensity of self deception is very high, for example, a person who thinks he is a great boxer and challenges an a great fighter to a boxing match. The person who was overconfident and who was mistaken about his actual boxing abilities with no proper training could end up getting knocked out in the fight as a result of his overconfidence. 

Similarly, an overconfident employee may think he could never be fired because of his previous good performance and yet keeps on committing misconducts which could result in his dismissal. For a teacher, that might mean ignoring that your lecture isn't clear. For a manager, it might mean that you overlook your employees' contribution, for driver ignoring speed limits and road safety ending up in avoidable accidents.

Equally, like indicated in the beginning, a student may think he has a photographic memory, detailed understanding of the subject and show overconfidence by perpetually absconding from classes, not taking notes, not studying thus ending up with poor results or failing the examinations.

Being real and honest always triumph over unrealistic and dishonest.It is said that, "too much of everything is not good". What side are you?  Remember, It's your choice! 

For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

God bless you! 

THE CAPITAL WITHIN YOU

Whenever, young entrepreneurs want to start a business or any start up, the first question that pops up is, “do I have the needed capital to do this business?” I recall sometimes back, whenever I hear the words, “I need capital for business,” it is mostly associated to money only. That may sound familiar and it is not deniable, however, greater capital is not in money but within you-your right mindset!

Oxford Dictionary defines capital as wealth in the form of money or other assets owned by a person or organisation or available for a purpose such as starting a company or investing. It also defines it as people who possess wealth and use it to control a society economic activity, considered collectively. The key words are asset, people and wealth. However, my focus is people as capital currently known in the field of Human resources as Human Capital.

Different scholars have defined human capital differently and mostly agreed explanation refers to knowledge, skills and abilities of employees in the organisation (Michael Armstrong). From this, my observation is that human capital is you and what you possess within you which you can use to better your life and others. This is because every human being has a measure of intellectual capital which include, human capital itself, social capital (networks of social relationship) and organisational capital (institutionalised knowledge or explicitly knowledge) and every human being has a brain and their mind. This includes everyone, as I have seen people with no or very little education with skills of brick layering, carpentry, sewing, agriculture (selling tomatoes, vegetables, keeping animals and selling dairy products), sales, and other trades you may think of and they make real money surpassing even some educated colleagues in air-conditioned offices.

Human capital is not about:

Payroll, regulations, compensation, signing contracts, appointment letters, charging employees, fixing people with draconian rules and regulations, suffocating terms and conditions of services, civil service regulations and all those routine jobs.

Human Capital is about:

Your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitude, emotional intelligence, personal and professional values, a purpose driven life which is within you and make you distinct. It is not tangible but observable through results. In other explanation, it is your growth mindset and depending how you use your mind, it can make your life better or bitter. For instance, having a positive attitude towards life can help you achieve more than a negative mindset. 

Thomas Jefferson said, “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong attitude.” Very true statement, you may give two people $1000 each, one with a right mental attitude or positive mind and other one with wrong mental attitude or negative mind and after some time, their spending will yield interesting results, the wrong mental attitude would first think of buying latest iPhone or any smartphone (consumption mentality) and show off to friends and the other one will invest and make more dollars (growth mentality). Dr Joseph Murphy in his book Miracles of the Mind noted that, “a man with a poverty-type mind finds himself in poverty-stricken conditions. Another man with a mind filled with ideas of wealth is surrounded by everything he needs."

It is imperative to remember that people are indisputably gifted with different talents, their capital cannot be compared to other assets, money, equipment or anything, the capital they possess cannot be owned by organisations only by themselves. Their capital never depreciates like other assets but it appreciates with proper developmental programmes and only this capital can make an individual or organisation to have a sustainable competitive advantage. We are in a global knowledge economy, using the “knowledge in people”, thus it is simply a “brain driven” economy. Put people capital first, value and treasure them, empathise and recognise them.

You are great, there is a tremendous dynamo within you and the capital is simply “Within You”, use it wisely and make your life better.

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE IN DARKNESS

   Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that--Martin Luther King Jr. 

The world is witnessing unprecedented levels of atrocities, killings, jealous, wars, fighting , jealous and all kinds of evils you can imagine. Families are disintegrated, workplaces are full of inter-departmental rivalry, unhealthy competitions. People are celebrating bad news over good news, people have no empathy and no love for fellow human beings and soo many crazy and heart breaking things happening on a daily basis. You may ask yourself questions; where have we gone wrong, what has really gone wrong? 

It looks like people are switching off the light in them and allowing darkness to prevail. People are killing the love in them and giving birth to hatred because no one is born with hurting, in the words of the late hero Nelson Mandela, "No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite." For real, through vicarious learning,hurting, jealous and all negativities are being implanted in people and this should not be tolerated because we have better choices to make. 

We can voluntarily choose to give light and darkness will disappear, give love and hatred will go away, give a smile and frowning will disappear, dispense kindness and peace and no room for hatred will be left. Choose to be the light of the world and let your light shine in darkness.Take your candle and go light your world. 

DON'T DESPISE HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

Few of us may have been born into privileged circumstances, rich, famous and educated families. But most of us have come from backgrounds of modest means, poorest families, uneducated parents and with hard circumstances . We, and often our parents, had to work hard to achieve a measure of success in the natural aspects of our lives.

Unfortunately, we don't apply to born in either families but by the will of God we found ourselves in them. If we had opportunities to apply, most of us could have applied to be born in rich families. What we have is the seed of Greatness in us to use as capital, what we have are God given talents, abilities and skills to make life better. What we have is that will power to change things for better through resilence, persistent, focus, hard and smart work to do better than we found things. Most importantly, with a firm reliance on God, you can come into victory from even the most inauspicious beginnings.

Wherever you are now, you can do better, it's a stepping stone to something greater. You may have started a job as a janitor, clerk, and with whatever low position with very little salary but with determination coupled with performance, few years down the road of your career you will be elevated to higher levels. You may begin doing business with little capital but with that unwavering faith and dedication to your business you will see exponential growth. Don't despise humble or small beginnings, every great thing even big plants germinate from a small seed.

Don't limit yourself, look beyond your situations to the amazing things you can do and become. The author is a living testimony of humble beginnings. 

"Your beginning might be too small but your later years will be great".---Job 8:7

"Do not despise these small beginnings". --Zechariah 4:20.

You are a success! 

EMPLOYEE ENGAGEMENT

Are you an engaged employee or disengaged?

Highly engaged employees have a passion for their work and feel a deep  connection to their company; 

Disengaged employees have essentially checked out—putting time but not energy or attention into their work. (Stephen Robbins).

Benefits of being an engaged employee:

  Happiness
  Health life

  Job satisfaction

  Enthusiasm
  Confidence
  higher levels of customer satisfaction,
  more productive
  bring higher profits
  lower levels of turnover and accidents

Signs of disengaged employees:

   Constantly Complaining
  Make Excuses
  Lack Enthusiasm
  Doesn’t like Helping Others
  Like Gossiping and Lying
  Have Know-it-all attitude
  Irresponsible and careless
  lacks Initiative
  Lacks Curiosity
  Stunted Growth
  Easily Distracted

It is imperative to point out that, most of these 

signs are not just related to employees in the

corporate world. You can be an engaged or disengaged family member and friend too. From my point of view, people sometimes are constrained to be disengaged depending on the prevailing work culture, leadership styles, organisational policies, family spirit etc. These factors could be external or internal and can force someone to just withdraw. 

However, hope is not lost, what is key is never quitting on doing what is best. In other circumstances if you really feel that you are not progressing well, the best is to move on, do auditing of your friends and those corrupting you, keep a distance diplomatically while praying for them-not easy but inevitable. For, families keep doing your best to by being the pillar of hope, fostering love and unity, keep praying for everyone and don’t quit on them. 

My strong and earnest appeal is to make a resolve to become an engaged employee, engaged brother, wife, husband, sister, father, mother, uncle, aunt and engaged friend because the benefits are immense. If you are already engaged please don’t stop, continue, because you are a champion of greatness and through you, many lives will be touched. However, if you are not an engaged person, it’s never too late to stop giving excuses and become a better family member, friend and employee. Always remember is your choice to be engaged or disengaged and you need to choose wisely.